| hmm, jump the gun... |
[30 May 2003|07:22pm] |
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mood |
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ok, so i totally jumped the gun, i was paranoid, and scared...well i cleared things up and all is well over here, for the time being. nothing new happened today, other than the usual fight with the mother, and how anal she is about letting me see my bf, and cancels my plans with him, i swear shes satan. so on to another day of fighting to see him, i wish it wasnt so hard...
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| trust? |
[29 May 2003|06:44pm] |
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mood |
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trust, honesty, truth, i swear i thought i knew those words...but now i am quickly realizing that they have been torn from my vocabulary, and i know them no longer. time after time id get hurt, but move on from it, in seek of being happy once again, thats all i really strive for, thats all i ask, is to just be happy for once. as soon as im made to believe just that, im being straight up lied to, and its killing everything inside of me that gets me back on my feet to look again, cuz at this point, i feel theres nuthing to get back up for, theres no hope for sumthing good to come, cuz once it does, it stabs u in the back. its as if it comes in disguise of what uve always been waiting for, but its not, its ur worse fear. after numerous times of being hurt and put back to that state of low, my walls go up. from here on out, it takes a lot more to gain my trust, and if ur willing to do so, give it a try, but u'll be lucky to have recieved it. i dont want things to have to be like this, and i know its not the way out, but right now, this is what my emotions tell me, and is whats going to happen.
just always remember, dont ever say things you dont mean, and dont always believe the things told to u.
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| blah |
[26 May 2003|04:34pm] |
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mood |
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ok, so finally i decided to write in this thing, i have a feeling i wont really keep up with it, but i will do my very best. this weekend was mainly spent with my bf devin, who soon enough will prolly have to move away to his moms, and i'll prolly barely be able to see him, which sucks, but we are making the best of it for now, its not a for sure thing yet. im so sick of school, i cant wait till its over, and ive been so lazy that all my grades are dropping, and my mom is going to shoot me (i hate her so much right now). nothing too exciting to talk about, just thought id start writing here so maybe i will continue, but right now, i g2g
evie
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| Whoohoo! |
[22 May 2003|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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dzzzzt |
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Evie has an LJ now.
Thank you Nicole.
Makia skatakia.
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